32nd Undesirable 
The lion pulled the newly lit cigarette from his mouth and puffed it himself instead. "You've just expressed the other," he said with a reproachful look. I looked at him briefly, to protest, but when I noticed that we are interested in watching his mother, smiled I have a disgustingly sweet smile, nodded quickly and leaned back.
His mother did not like me. He pushed her behavior to the rage of having lost her only son to another woman. Of course it was not that they had never hate me.
One half of my childhood was determined by my broken family, the other half I spent with the lions on deserted playgrounds, in his large room between three tons of toys, or on the road that ran through our neighborhood.
The breaking hot summer danced around our heads as we relish our ice cream and sucking on the white sun lounger in the always tidy and well kept garden of his family home sat and giggled occurred to us terribly grown up, when we swear words - very quietly - under our breath muttered, without really knowing what they meant.
He had just had a birthday - in front of one, two, maybe three weeks - and the action figure, which had bought my mother for him in my name, had it always in his hand and reminded me that each day with it as he had me down for a kiss on the cheek.
"Well, we have but our new dream couple," his father said then, laughing, and my mother, who by had the many wine already reddened cheeks, was also broken out in a shy smile, while we children screened with disgusted faces.
"We do not want to rush things", had added his mother with a serious look and I rudely painted over his head, "I do not think that will fit two per together."
As a child I had nodded eagerly, was got up and had me thrown into the lap of my mother. Much later I realized what they wanted to really say - that I would never fit him that he would never choose for myself.
In that Last summer, in which he told me with childlike thin voice how much he was looking forward to the school came to his mother in a long, colorful, sleeveless dress to us and asked if I had to because to stay for dinner or if I still went home.
"Can not she stay with us," said the lion loud and clung to the figure in its little hands. " Please, please, please, please ?
" No, she can not, "his mother replied simply turned around and did not notice the rude gesture that made her son in her direction.
tore the clatter of dishes from my thoughts and I looked to the lions - have grown much bigger, much nicer and much still childlike - next to me.
"I am glad however that you have your degree now," said his father-friendly and poked listlessly around in his salad, "and that too very well."
"Thanks," I replied - was sitting in my head I am still on the swing and watched the action figure in the hands of the lions that now surrounded my rights, "is probably have been quite good that I am at that time remained seated. Otherwise the result would now become more catastrophic. "
" And what you going to do with your life? "asked his mother and I felt by the tone in her voice strangely attacked.
"studying" I answered quietly ignored, the snorting of their direction and cast a glance to the lion, seeking help, who sighed loudly.
"Can you please stop, they always attack from the side," he snapped, "honest, this is total crap from you."
"What? It separates you, you're devastated, you come back together, everything is going well - then you do divorce, you're devastated, you come back together. You can not really expect me to find the good. "She ignored her husband, who grabbed her wrist and shook it off impatiently. "I've really considered long enough and what I see, I do not just exhilarating."
The lion was silent for a moment. I was nauseated, hot and cold at once and I stared at the door and looked in my mind a chance to jump as soon as possible and just run away. This tightness in the chest is increased, it felt as their concerns about an icy cold hand would be thrown, which closed around my heart. I reached for my wine glass and washed the last bit down in one gulp.
"You know," he finally said with a husky voice and I could see the suppressed rage in his eyes, usually so warm, "you must not find this exhilarating. Actually, it's me even give a damn how do you find it. If you hate it, fine, hate them. I believe, based on reciprocity then anyway. But you're otherwise always so keen on good behavior and the values and norms of the society. - Hold it up at least myself a bit to it and treat your guests accordingly without them constantly reinzuwürgen subliminally something "
swept a wave of silence by the space and brought even the unspoken words in her eyes silenced. The rest of the evening was calm - forced friendliness on their side, soft restraint on my dazed.
little later, he accompanied me home. I staggered suspect and he put his arm around my waist to support me. "It's totally cliche, you know?" I mumbled, "Your mother hates me, your father likes me, I'm in love with my best friend I've known since my childhood."
"You are with me. For the past two years. Not with my mother. "
I chuckled. "I think your mother and not attractive to many Thanks. "His gaze wandered to the stars above us, the hidden by the clouds were and still I watched as they shone in his eyes and shivered and gave birth to new life. "I think I fit with you do not really clean anyway. I mean, you are all so obsessed with family and great and I'm me. "I belched. ". And I think I'm a bit drunk and you always unhappy"
'. Red' is not that shit "The lion looked back to me and his eyes sparkled still so beautiful that I wanted to touch him - I stroked his cheek numb. "You make me happy."
"But also unhappy, right?"
"Sometimes." Shrug. Sigh. "But outweighs the number of happy moments."
"I do not deserve it. Do not not not your love and your faithfulness and your not promise. You are so, so, so valuable and I'm gone so terribly "tears in my eyes and suddenly my esophagus high - and two seconds later, I vomited into the nearest bush.
As we stood outside my front door - and I felt even worse than before - he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then on the forehead, before he said quietly, "No idea who persuades you that - or why do you convince yourself that you - but stop to think that. You are wonderful. "
" You're cheesy. "
" You're drunk. "
" You got me just now kissing on the mouth, even though I smell of vomit. "
" You do with your mouth still ... all other things "
" You're stupid "
" You too "
I to shut the door, staggering entered the hall - it smelled, as always, of roses - and waved him one more time to . "Because of you I feel sometimes still alive, you know? "
He smiled and opened the door of his car. "Drink your sleep, and go no more."
"I'll try."
The attempt failed.
