I winced as the cup against the wall, bounced off and put a few seconds later, shocked that I had thrown them.
Reluctantly I looked to my mother, who still sat perfectly still at the kitchen table bent over a pile of folders and directories, a red pen in her left hand, which slipped quickly over several lines. "That you grant your way again," she said in her clear voice, glockenspiel, without even for a moment, looking up to me.
My body shook with suppressed anger, my eyes were swimming in her tears and to my tongue the bitter fear of dancing to the rhythm of my heart pounding excitement.
I looked up to the counter - the cup was broken and so looked unfavorably still the happy faces of family portraits at me, impatient, demanding, scornfully.
"You clear away please," repeated my mother and I would not budge from the spot. More
not? More you have to say to that? I'll pour my heart out here, doing any old scrap Christmas and the only thing is you can help that I should put it away? "I fumbled with my bracelets. "Do you want to resolve my problems if I simply dispenses with the results?"
She looked at me. "What should I have to say? I'm tired. "
" Tired of what? From me? "
" From your phases. Depression or not, it is totally exhausting. "She stood up, stretched, walked past me to the fridge and opened it. "For months, it is the same. I myself come with any more. And anyway, it is senseless and useless. "
I breathed in her scent, weighed myself short in their heat, which hung in the air and then threw into the arms of the cold and my heart froze. "Do you think I do the fun? Do you think I like it, so be it, as I am? "
My mother paused. rail think about their answer. I watched as she moved the words in her head in the right order, just a misunderstanding, and other gifts to avoid broken. It was no use, the indifference in her voice was already overwhelming enough. "You know, sometimes I think that really."
I shook my head, angry, hurt sad, crying, sobbing, while I cast from the family portrait, which is still on the cup emblazoned in my mind heard her mocking voice perceived their distorted, grinning faces looked before my eyes.
"Mom, you do not understand me, right? I'm not good. For months. Or sometimes the other way around - I feel way too often good. And you think - you think I made it all fun and joke making "
She was absorbed back into her work, took a sip of the juice bottle, which had taken them and answered in a businesslike tone. "I think a lot - and I think you most of your so-called problems simply exaggerating and completely perceive wrong. And I'm sorry that it ever the same thing to me is you, always. "
" If you so I'm so tired leaching and then it would be the best course for you if it did not exist anymore, right? If I was not there and you are not a problem child at the neck would have to have the care you up. "
Crimped lips. Rolling eyes. Loud, frustrated sigh, perhaps annoyed. "If we had not even been death threats last month? Please, I would like to continue working here now and you grant this cup in the garbage. "
The anger expressed to my breast, the fear flowed through my veins, my pulse was racing continues, a thick, fat lump in my throat. I took a deep breath, watching them, analyzing them, took them only half true.
"You can not tell me that you have not taken the things with Dad," I said, his head cocked to see some reaction, but her expression remained empty.
"things happen. Life goes on, "she replied, underlined here and there, what with the red pen wrote, in calligraphy something else in one of the myriad of different colored folders. Their precision and perfection in the work disturbed me.
I waited. She cleared her throat. We fell into silence. I cleaned the cup in the garbage, some mourned, a few seconds to our happy faces, before I left the lid fall listlessly and looked out the window. A flock of birds turning circles in the gray sky.
I felt the piercing gaze of my mother in the neck. "By the way you should look in the future a better hiding place looking for your drugs," she said calmly, "and is at eight dinner, and look to you, that you are there on time."
"It's great that we have so openly and honestly our problems can talk to each other. "
your answer was a stifled laugh, which they converted into a cough.
Reluctantly I looked to my mother, who still sat perfectly still at the kitchen table bent over a pile of folders and directories, a red pen in her left hand, which slipped quickly over several lines. "That you grant your way again," she said in her clear voice, glockenspiel, without even for a moment, looking up to me.
My body shook with suppressed anger, my eyes were swimming in her tears and to my tongue the bitter fear of dancing to the rhythm of my heart pounding excitement.
I looked up to the counter - the cup was broken and so looked unfavorably still the happy faces of family portraits at me, impatient, demanding, scornfully.
"You clear away please," repeated my mother and I would not budge from the spot. More
not? More you have to say to that? I'll pour my heart out here, doing any old scrap Christmas and the only thing is you can help that I should put it away? "I fumbled with my bracelets. "Do you want to resolve my problems if I simply dispenses with the results?"
She looked at me. "What should I have to say? I'm tired. "
" Tired of what? From me? "
" From your phases. Depression or not, it is totally exhausting. "She stood up, stretched, walked past me to the fridge and opened it. "For months, it is the same. I myself come with any more. And anyway, it is senseless and useless. "
I breathed in her scent, weighed myself short in their heat, which hung in the air and then threw into the arms of the cold and my heart froze. "Do you think I do the fun? Do you think I like it, so be it, as I am? "
My mother paused. rail think about their answer. I watched as she moved the words in her head in the right order, just a misunderstanding, and other gifts to avoid broken. It was no use, the indifference in her voice was already overwhelming enough. "You know, sometimes I think that really."
I shook my head, angry, hurt sad, crying, sobbing, while I cast from the family portrait, which is still on the cup emblazoned in my mind heard her mocking voice perceived their distorted, grinning faces looked before my eyes.
"Mom, you do not understand me, right? I'm not good. For months. Or sometimes the other way around - I feel way too often good. And you think - you think I made it all fun and joke making "
She was absorbed back into her work, took a sip of the juice bottle, which had taken them and answered in a businesslike tone. "I think a lot - and I think you most of your so-called problems simply exaggerating and completely perceive wrong. And I'm sorry that it ever the same thing to me is you, always. "
" If you so I'm so tired leaching and then it would be the best course for you if it did not exist anymore, right? If I was not there and you are not a problem child at the neck would have to have the care you up. "
Crimped lips. Rolling eyes. Loud, frustrated sigh, perhaps annoyed. "If we had not even been death threats last month? Please, I would like to continue working here now and you grant this cup in the garbage. "
The anger expressed to my breast, the fear flowed through my veins, my pulse was racing continues, a thick, fat lump in my throat. I took a deep breath, watching them, analyzing them, took them only half true.
"You can not tell me that you have not taken the things with Dad," I said, his head cocked to see some reaction, but her expression remained empty.
"things happen. Life goes on, "she replied, underlined here and there, what with the red pen wrote, in calligraphy something else in one of the myriad of different colored folders. Their precision and perfection in the work disturbed me.
I waited. She cleared her throat. We fell into silence. I cleaned the cup in the garbage, some mourned, a few seconds to our happy faces, before I left the lid fall listlessly and looked out the window. A flock of birds turning circles in the gray sky.
I felt the piercing gaze of my mother in the neck. "By the way you should look in the future a better hiding place looking for your drugs," she said calmly, "and is at eight dinner, and look to you, that you are there on time."
"It's great that we have so openly and honestly our problems can talk to each other. "
your answer was a stifled laugh, which they converted into a cough.
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