It was a mystery that we both were careful, as if what had to hide it, comparable with stolen chewing gum or a puppy that she illegally hid in her room.
in this little bubble world we inhabited together when we talked about the mystery, there were no bruised ribs or bloodshot eyes, there was no coercion or stifled cries, but they behaved as they lead a double life, and their second life was now is time, the mistress of her step-father to be - on a completely voluntary basis.
I did not know myself, as I had to handle it had to say what I had to do, so she felt better. Probably I should have to force a good friend to talk to anyone like this have or what they should do for themselves - instead, I mostly silent, sitting beside her and listened to their stories and wept the tears which she was completely incapacitated.
It was a completely paradoxical affair. Moments in which I was about to go for the jugular, because I made them responsible for that which was broken in me, followed seconds with affection and care, hugs, caresses. I felt responsible for them. For years I had guessed her broken soul, had its formal grief felt when I touched it and now that she was sitting across from me, me their stories with the same melancholy of a dying Swan's whispered, her eyes on my face as she would wait for a reaction, and enjoy that I suffered because she was not able to, I was responsible for them.
I was her sponge. Or at least I had to be. As a friend.
Our feet were dangling over the roof edge. The door to the roof had already been broken, probably were here before us a rampage any young people because they did bring himself otherwise expressed, but was the queen several times against the lock and boxed against the halbzertrümmerte door, before she pushed angry and then stamped in the fresh morning air.
"If you were an animal, what would you be kind? "the Queen said after several minutes of silence and took out her cigarette pack.
"I do not know. I would like a bird, I think. Then I could fly, "I answered her and pulled at the cigarette that gave it to me.
your eyebrows almost disappeared from skepticism behind her hair. "No, I mean really fly. Trip not open fly. This is not the same. "I looked at the flock of birds circling far above our heads. "Maybe I would also like something strong. A lion. Yes, I would also rather like a lioness. "
"A flying lion with angel harp Why not the same," murmured the Queen, but I went over her comments.
know "you, I see myself ... I do not know, I'm afraid I'm more of a lamb. Thus, a hare. I think I'm just too sensitive and weak here for the whole principle. My heart and I are somehow quite fragile. Therefore, it would not be a bad idea if I were a strong animal. A lioness who dominated the world with their roar, or a bird that moves through the air and can taste the freedom. "When she said no evidence, but rather more sarcastic grin in itself in, I sighed and asked, "And what you had for one?"
"A peacock. A male peacock. "
" A peacock? "
" A male peacock. This is important. "They are a turquoise streak dash behind his ear. "The female peacocks are not so nice. The male, have you seen the time? They're much nicer. I think I would like nice. "
" You 're beautiful, "I interjected, his head cocked to her face between the hair process to see.
She gave me her cigarette, leaned back and let out a roar of laughter. "Is all right, sweetheart, "she said," all right. In any case, peacocks do not have as much in your head, you know, but they are incredibly beautiful. And they can not really fly, makes me not to. You know, we all believe that we are free and independent, but we are not. So I am not. Even if I were a butterfly, I would have different size wings that would prevent me from daring aerial action. "
" Because it you pull someone else or trim would? "
" Not at all, "she said, shaking his head vigorously, "We are all personally responsible for the cage in which we sit and take perhaps all a little to blame if we do not want to break out of it or can not for what ever reason. "
" AND "
" No, I know what you want to say. "She took the cigarette out of his mouth, she pushed out and threw it over the edge, looked at her as she fell down the many floors. "Fly, fly," the queen chuckled with the same joy of a three-year-old and then turned back to me. "You know, I have no particular value more anyway. I myself speak to no value. Therefore it is not so bad. I'll be clear. I'm not really locked up and I do not really fly, glide holds more like a dragon with the gust and the thread of somebody else. But that's not bad. I'm at least aware of it. "
And I looked at her, looked at her long and silent, because I did not know what I had to say, let my eyes to the flock of birds migrate, which landed on the roof of another house was.
"And, dear, you sit in a cage or flying through the area you brave?" She asked.
I thought, still staring at the flock of birds. I thought of the lion and the feelings he aroused in me, this self-sacrificing, selfless love, in the we both had woven. And then to the Queen, which was kind of like the yarn in our history and how I could not do without them, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I despised them here and there and accused of what in me Ultimately himself had slipped from his hands.
obsession, or love, affection, or addiction. It was shit. She was there and I was, and the lion was there and we were intertwined.
"I sit in your cage," I said, "and you know that"
She smiled her characteristic smile, leaned over to me and our lips met in an aggressive kiss. Than minutes, hours, maybe Days passed and we broke out of breath from each other, our foreheads resting together, "she whispered," Well, at least you're aware you. "
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