love for him was creating. We created masterpieces, sonnets, palaces, moved mountains, laughing seas and melting the ice.
with an initial shyness, we felt our way to each other approached, cautiously, like insecure lovers who are not quite so unanimous seemed to be whether they were really ready for it to connect, secure the border area of friendship.
He treated me with the less destructive, which I was accustomed to when I bit into fixed strangers to scrape them their shine, in his gestures there was something unusual, something new and unknown. I estimated that it had to be love.
some point we were above the other with a not so metaphorically meant night sky over our naked bodies were moving awkwardly, gurgling, sighing, slowly to the beat of the waves that flooded the coast. The moment broke though not the hymen in me that I paralyzed a few years ago, half drunk and half in fear, lost on a dining room table, but had something else in me seemed to dissolve, to disappear.
Cupid's arrow had hit me well enough - at one time the Queen was dripping out of me, painful and tough.
My heart was on fire. I was on fire.
little later - days, weeks - we were sitting in the garden of his parents, drinking cheap red wine and smoked cigarettes even cheaper, felt complete, united.
Sometimes it felt like I should be happy. As if my life, I destroyed myself had not much accounted for. Sometimes it felt as if the stars who had died long ago in fact, just for us shone. Sometimes I felt special.
Sometimes I even thought back to the words that I breathed in his ear, his brain was burning, wrote in his heart.
"I love you so much," I whispered, my left hand in his hair, my right hand on the red wine glass.
His eyes were boring, demanding, demanding.
Sometimes it seemed to me even before like I belonged to him. When he was the target of a long, uncertain journey was. As there would be something like a soul mate. As if this my own personal happy ending, only without end. My cell he swore eternal fidelity, eternal longing, eternal joy. My mind danced rings around the Lions, he sang songs that had taught me the Queen.
Sometimes it felt like I was his answer to every question and when he would be mine.
Almost laughable, as I was stupid.
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